


The Universe and You

by ahlohomora



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2013 phan, Alcohol, Light Voyeurism, M/M, Snogging, dan is a lil shit, jack is bitter, phan is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8083993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahlohomora/pseuds/ahlohomora
Summary: ”Explain why you can’t vlog at parties.””Because there’ll be some youtuber making out with someone in the corner and it’ll be-””It’ll be… Jack.””It’ll be Jack, making out with his hand.””You we’re gonna say you and…?””No I wasn’t, no, ndjslkdks-"(Dan and Phil is making out at a party. No one's filming it, but that doesn't mean there isn't an audience.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> contains: a silly idea and (questionable) profound conclusions about the universe and lots of schmoopy, unashamed phan <3 
> 
> it unbetaed so i'm the owner of all the mistakes. what i'm not the owner of, however, is dan, phil, any youtuber, the sofa they're sitting in etc, basically i don't own anything xx /title from a poster on my wall wow/

Dan never really liked parties anyway. Too many people trying to fit together in an impossibly small flat. He doesn't mind the alcohol or loud music... it's the people that tend to be a little too much, too happy and carefree and only serving as a reminder of the chaos in his own head. If he has to choose though, he’d take a youtuber party over a uni party any day. At least there's people here that he genuinely likes, and most importantly: they all know not to film anything in case it somehow gets leaked. 

”Daaan. I can hear you thinking. Come join me here on planet Earth instead.”  
He’s not really sure why, but he’s practically sitting in Phil’s lap even though they have the entire sofa to themselves. And he has had a few too many drinks, which should have helped to shut his brain up, but instead they just made it worse. Which unfortunately is the case most of the times, and is something he should have predicted, and by the way why does he drink again? 

”I can’t”, he grumbles. ”I’m having a _crisis_.” He can’t stop thinking about how pointless it all is, like, what is it really that they’re trying to achieve? What’s the point in even having this particular party? It’s just a waste of beer and electricity, really. His friends are having fun, sure, but… that’s all they do these days, drink and have fun. So why today? What’s the _bloody point?_  
”Dan.”  
”What.”  
”Kiss me.”  
Dan rolls his eyes, but he still leans down so their faces are at the same level. All he sees is blue eyes and maybe he should try focus on that, instead.  
”Bossy.”  
Phil’s hands go from resting safely on the small of his back to landing dangerously low on his jeans and Dan swallows hard. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re surrounded by people, or maybe it’s because Phil is so fucking attractive like this — rosy cheeks, mussed hair and button up shirt — but Dan is getting quite aroused, and now this is something that he'd rather focus on than the endless dwelling on what matters or not.  
He leans in slowly and kisses Phil carefully, deliberately. Phil sighs into his mouth and kisses back, languidly, like he’s got all the time in the world and like he just asked Dan to kiss him because he wanted something to do. Dan shifts, without breaking the kiss, until he’s straddled over Phil’s lap and _yes_ , this is much better, Phil’s hands on his hips just like that, trailing kisses down his throat, scraping his teeth over the juncture where his shoulder meets his neck. Dan sighs contently. 

_”Oh, no. There they go again.”_  
_”Shush, leave them alone.”_  
_”But we_ know _they’re in love, they don’t have to… shove it up our face every damn time.”_  
_”I said leave them alone.”_

Dan smiles into the kiss, and tries to turn it into something more gentle, something sickly sweet that’ll piss off Jack Howard even more.  
Now Phil’s smiling too, like he enjoys the turn the snogging has taken. He’s grabbing onto Dan’s shirt and Dan concentrates on telling Phil, and Jack, and _everyone in the room_ just how much he loves Phil by only using his mouth.  
They kiss like it’s one of their first times — exploring, sighing, smiling.  
”I love you”, he finally murmurs, close to Phil’s ear. ”So so much.” So much that his heart is about to combust from it.  
Phil just holds him tighter.  
”I love you more”, he whispers, and Dan kisses his neck, nibbling and sucking, fully intending to leave a mark that Phil will have to hide tomorrow. Hopefully it’ll annoy the rest of the guests, too. 

_”Now they’re just winding me up, the assholes.”_  
_”Stop_ watching _, then.”_  
_”I’m not_ watching _, their constant…_ movements _keep catching my eye, and I know they can hear me._ If only they could get a room!” 

”Should we- aahh- get a room?” Phil breathes, voice hitching as Dan continues to nip and suck.  
”Mhmmm. Soon.” He leans back to study his work. Nice. The darkening love bite looks so pretty against Phil’s pale, pale skin. He can already feel Phil’s erection pressing into his thigh and he shifts ever so slightly until it presses into his own and Phil lets out another breathy moan, trying desperately to keep it down.  
” _Now_ ”, he whines. ” _C’mon_. Want you.”  
Dan rolls his hips down, feeling himself getting harder, and Phil’s fingers are already under the hem of his shirt, ghosting over his skin. He’s tingling with how much he wants Phil naked and all over him, skin on skin and away from all these people.  
Maybe the point of this party is for Dan to wind Phil up so much that when they finally fuck, it’ll be a little more brilliant than usual. Maybe the bloody point is just really awesome sex with the only person in the world who really matters.  
”Wait. We’re not done yet”, he whispers, barely audibly. He takes a deep breath to collect himself and then starts over with the chaste, gentle kisses. Every time Phil tries to open up his mouth and deepen the kiss, he leans back ever so slightly and latches onto Phil’s lower lip, sucking gently, pecking at the corner of his mouth, cupping his face and stroking his hair lovingly.  
”You’re a tease”, Phil mutters.  
Dan is quite proud of the level of self control he's mustered here. Meanwhile, Phil’s hands can’t seem to settle on one place, they’re roaming his back, sliding below his shirt, grabbing the back of his thighs. 

_”Should we break them up? Before they end up actually having sex on my sofa?”_  
_”Don’t be silly. They wouldn’t. But maybe… yeah, maybe someone should, er, send them off.”_  
_”Oh, wow. At least some people are having fun here.”_  
_”No kidding. And they’re doing it on purpose, I know it.”_

Dan sighs, licking into Phil’s mouth, cradling his head in his hands and Phil’s writhing under him, flushed red and rock hard in his jeans. In this moment, he feels quite powerful.

”Ahum”, someone coughs behind him, and he presses butterfly kiss after butterfly kiss on Phil’s chin, and cheek, and ear, before turning his head, trying this best to look innocently at whoever interrupted them.  
It’s Louise, who’s blushing and half holding up a hand to cover the sight of them.  
”Jeez, Louise, it’s not like anyone’s naked here”, he huffs.  
”Still don’t wanna see it”, she retorts. ”Maybe you two wanna go find some other place to make out in. Like. _In private._ ”  
”Why?” Dan asks, still faking innocence, while Phil mutters ”Yeah _please_ ” beneath him.  
”Listen to your boyfriend”, Jack adds sternly. ”Take your happy-relationship-crap somewhere else.”  
”Homophobes”, he accuses, but climbs off Phil and proceeds to drag him up in standing position with him. They’re both embarrassingly hard and anyone close enough would probably be able to tell, but fuck it. They’re gonna hail a cab, get home and then Phil’s gonna get his revenge and good lord, is it gonna be good.  
”You’re so ridiculous.”  
”I don’t care.”  
He locks eyes with Louise and they laugh, no offense taken anywhere, and she refuses to hug them goodbye, but that’s fine because the only one Dan wants touching him right now is Phil anyway. Jack thanks them for coming and gives him the finger, to which Dan loudly says _”You’re just jealous because you’re not gonna have a lot of gay sex tonight”_ , and then Phil’s hand is over his mouth and maybe he’s drunk, maybe that was the point, not to shut your brain up but to be reminded of the fact that even though his veins are flooded with alcohol there’s a someone who can’t keep their hands of him and who loves him with all his heart and maybe nothing else needs to matter because at least there’s _someone_ who does.

They leave, arms around each other, stopping every other meter to kiss some more, and Phil whispers over and over how much he loves him, it’s a starry summer night and the whirring in his head are quieting down as he breathes in the chilly night air and feels Phil’s lips against his own. It’s quietening down and really, he shouldn’t waste his thoughts on the universe when he could be consumed by the brilliance of the guy in his arms instead.

**Author's Note:**

> INSP: my own drunk Crisises™, my gay squad, that one conversation in that springkleofglitter blog (obvs), that one text post about new youtubers being told to get their footage before dan and phil arrives to the party bc anything after that they won't be able to use, insert lenny face here, i'm logging off now bye,


End file.
